Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
