please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need water and some morals
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
