thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im holly from the hills drunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
