DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
