Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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