i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
