Where did you get a picture of my penis
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
