Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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