I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hippo gnu deer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
