That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
