THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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