Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need moral support for this bender
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize