he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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