Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
