Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
