Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Panties = found
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