Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
