My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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