What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
