Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
