Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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