I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
