Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
