If i come over, it means nothing
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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