Dual....:-)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
