Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
