Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
