it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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