real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wish my penis had a tongue
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
