her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
