i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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