If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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