I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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