Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
