I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How's work?
Spinning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
