quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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