1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
