Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His hands were made for my vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
