i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
