his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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