Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
