and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
