i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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