Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize