haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
