My Higher Power is John Stamos
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
