so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize