call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
