I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
