And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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