I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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