my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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