Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
