is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
