Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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