I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dignity is for republicans.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
